This week on “hold off, Is This a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and
L Keyword
expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. That is correct! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity â setting up with friends’ exes, friends setting up with these exes, in addition to culture created by everything crisis.
Come for the gossip, stay when it comes to psychological processing. And before that enjoy a-game that exams Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t normally.)
Many thanks for the good comments after the premiere! For those who haven’t but give consideration to providing us with a rating or review!
SHOW RECORDS
+ 5 years ago Riese built an
Old Hollywood chart
that’s the intersection of my passions.
+ Listed Here Is
the essay
We reference where I mention starting up with my roommates.
+ My personal crush of week Mj Rodriguez revealed a music video on her behalf tune
“something you should state”
!
+ As someone who has merely seen a small number of periods of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush in the few days C.C. Babcock had been shocking in my experience with regards to turned-out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina tells me they generally however tend to be.)
Drew:
I would be really fine with-it present. I’d never add another person without their unique permission. Nevertheless thought of every time somebody had been like, “concur that you are linked to me personally,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, oahu is the existence i have lived. I don’t mind.” Is weird? Would be that problematic?
Christina:
No, since if I happened to ben’t, I would feel bad not-being. I’d be like, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”
Theme track plays
Drew:
Hi, I Am Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And this is
Hold Off, Is It A Romantic Date?
Christina:
Wait, So Is This A Romantic Date?
is an Autostraddle podcast asking the top concerns. First, will it be a night out together? What are times? Who are dates? Will we like times? They are the variety of questions that we address about this here incredibly pro and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I am Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I’m Christina Tucker. I am in addition an author at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer online. Im getting better at describing my self as an author and, famously, a lesbian. That is all of us. That is exactly who we have been.
Drew:
Yeah. Therefore the main subject this week is The Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That felt truly dramatic, but In my opinion it needed it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thank you so much, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The appropriate number of crisis.
Christina:
Many thanks.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re writing about lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
I like that term since it sounds like you will need to restart the lesbians. It sounds such as the connection to the internet actually functioning.
Drew:
Yes. it is extremely advanced, really advanced, but additionally has been around since there’s been lesbians, i believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I believe students will say after they discovered the first lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of those created to the mud. And that I believe’s what that flick is mostly about, right? It is more about the information? That motion picture with Kate Winslet together with mud fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it is more about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
involved cave females. I would enjoy that lesbian movie.
Christina:
Really, when I have not viewed it, I’m going to bravely claim that it had been. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like we’ve so many lesbian period pieces, but we’ve never ever eliminated back that far. And that I think it’s time we do.
Christina:
Let us merely hold having it furthermore back in time.
Drew:
Before we get to your main topic, you’re still getting to know all of us. And that I felt that it will be enjoyable to play a-game for which you dudes could really learn Christina. Therefore our icebreaker because of this week is a little game that we call “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
I will be, again, therefore pressured about it. This could just be just how i-come inside video game. This might be my game mentality, a tiny bit high-key, a tiny bit stressed. That’s fine. All of us are learning.
Drew:
I think which is fantastic. I believe that can have you more vulnerable, possibly.
Christina:
One of my personal favorite emotions.
Drew:
Merely a horror, merely an acute horror. And so the method in which “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i will describe a situation. Let’s call-it Christina enthusiast fiction. And that I’m going to pause after each small section is like, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure you have never resided with someone, don’t want to accept someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And I also will either state yes or I’ll say, “I’m all set.”
Drew:
Unless you â well, we’re going to see here. But i am thrilled. In my opinion i have maybe cracked the signal.
Christina:
You have damaged the signal? I’m thrilled.
Drew:
Why don’t we find out how long this takes. Just in case you won’t ever do, I think you win? I don’t know how you can find champions right here.
Christina:
I’m not sure that we now have champions into the game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Really, I am not sure in the event that you’ll trust that after that. Thus I’m going to get heading.
Christina:
Fair sufficient.
Drew:
Okay. Thus, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You’re at your buddy’s wedding. Despite the large number of romcoms you absorbed, you did perhaps not choose this wedding considering you would satisfy anybody because, really, this isn’t a romcom. This is the real and normal longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your assigned chair and are generally glancing at the cellphone once you recognize a lady at the table wants at you. She introduces by herself since your pal’s former baby-sitter. She’s stayed a friend associated with household, but she does not actually know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and it has a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She proposes to produce a glass or two. Once she stacks up, you realize she actually is six foot high, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. And that means you know what? I am simply gonna hold on there and become want, at this time, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I am intrigued. I’m fascinated because i would get put as of this wedding. But to date I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.
Drew:
Cool. That is completely reasonable. Completely fair. Okay. And that means you spend whole marriage learning the other person. There is only an immediate spark and quick chemistry. And yes, you are doing hook-up and intercourse is actually incredible.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
So this wedding was at Northern California. And so you both increase your stays for three days to fuck and check out and consume at restaurants and shag. While supply to divide the expense of the now joint room, but she laughs you down and is similar, “certainly not, honey.” Therefore the next 3 days tend to be miraculous. You really feel the wall space tumbling straight down. You are falling quicker than you previously have. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
So only for understanding’s benefit, I’m having a hard time picturing some sort of whereby we got three surprise times from try to hang out with someone i actually do not understand. That looks bonkers. However, if i did so, good-for me personally. But I’m not U-Hauling at this time. It will likely be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. Which is great. You simply came across. I get it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Many thanks much.
Drew:
So she comes back to nyc therefore come back to Philadelphia.
Christina:
That is where We live.
Drew:
And you’re texting always. That is where you reside plus its in which this girl resides. And you are texting on a regular basis therefore see each other multiple times 30 days. She is really hectic with her work, but she’s quick purchasing you a train ticket in order to appear see this lady and stay at the woman gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. After which six months pass. And another night when you are over to supper, she asks you to definitely move around in together. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And move to Ny? Really don’t really like New York. No, I am not transferring at the half a year level. I am not carrying out that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, completely. Wow. Okay. And that means you hold matchmaking long distance. She realizes that you will want some time she actually is prepared to wait a little for you. Even more several months pass. It’s today already been over a-year. Your property owner informs you they are attempting to sell your place to a developer that’s setting up apartments, so you cannot renew it. You should get a hold of a unique spot. Your own today girlfriend tells you that no force, but the woman offer however appears. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this point, i might U-Haul for a few explanations.
Drew:
Yay! Fine. Please inform us.
Christina:
Largely, in some sort of wherein my personal landlord sold my house to improve it, my personal property manager is currently my personal best friend, to make certain that seems like something has gone incorrect within friendship. And I also might want to just leave Philadelphia anyhow. Of course I get to go in using my sweetheart over right here, that appears good. Which is fine. Completely great. But yeah, i believe I might require an external force like a mean property manager.
Drew:
That is so â okay. I did believe that might have to require construction receive there, so I’m grateful We understood that.
Christina:
Yeah. Which is precisely what must occur to me personally first.
Drew:
Really, i am happy to know what it’s going to take. Therefore in theory, if perhaps you weren’t knocked away, how much cash additional time?
Christina:
Genuinely, that may have gone on for a long time. Philly and New York aren’t actually that not one another. I obtained area over right here. We’re moving to and fro. We’re having fun. I could have leave that roll for quite some time until i assume Shoshana turns into the worst person I’m sure.
Drew:
I did not know that Shoshana possessed your house. Really, there you decide to go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, that was exciting.
Drew:
Well, many thanks for playing.
Christina:
I’m pressured, as clear.
Drew:
And that I’m happy that i am aware⦠perhaps if you should be actually ever, therefore if anybody’s ever dating both you and wants one relocate, maybe your own sweetheart told Shoshana to offer your house in the interests of your own connection.
Christina:
Truthfully the quickest means â somebody would only have to keep in touch with Shoshana and be want, “simply kick her aside.” Then she’d be like, “Yeah, certain. Definitely.” That could be how it took place, regardless if she don’t promote our home. Some body would you need to be like, “is it possible to merely stop the lady out so she’ll simply overcome it and move around in with me?” And she’d state yes. Double she would accomplish that. That’s what relationship is actually.
Drew:
I favor that.
Christina:
Yeah, that’s truly beautiful.
Drew:
Really, i’m like we discovered alot about yourself.
Christina:
Thank You. I’m like We discovered a large number about my self, as well. Risk of homelessness is truly the thing that helps to keep myself moving in any situation, i suppose. Wow.
Drew:
Well, that is fantastic.
Christina:
That has been really fascinating. I am equally excited to go into the primary sector because i do believe writing about lesbian connection with this specific guest, with this specific unique visitor, I think it will likely be remarkable, Drew. How could you be feeling?
Drew:
I am therefore excited. This can be a specialist. And by that, I mean an
L Term
specialist, and a small amount of a specialized during the topic at hand.
Christina:
In my opinion two things tends to be correct, my good friend. In my opinion a couple of things are true undoubtedly. Will we need present the visitor or do we wish all of our guest to introduce by themselves?
Drew:
I would personally love our very own guest introducing herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I will declare that all of our visitor will be the one and only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, talk.
Riese:
Hi, I Am Riese. Plus its weird to-be the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, truly.
Riese:
I’d not to say anything. I did not also take action. Used to do say circumstances. I got to sit down right here silently.
Christina:
Therefore happened to be truly daring. Plus faces happened to be valued.
Riese:
Thank-you really.
Christina:
Though it is demonstrably a sound method, i would like all of our listeners to understand that Riese was actually creating some very nice impulse faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There’s different ways becoming heard. Do you know what after all? That is what i state. I’m the President of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball team. And that is me personally. I’ve your dog known as Carol. And I also have actually outdated people.
Christina:
Congrats on the kickball!
Riese:
Thank you. I have been associated with people.
Christina:
Great. Enjoying that. That is fantastic to create for this, this here internet dating podcast. Which is good.
Riese:
Yeah. I do believe that⦠Is there other things?
Drew:
No, i do believe that is fantastic, Riese.
Christina:
Anything you want to share.
Riese:
I enjoy raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You know an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
Its like once you blow. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, and so I merely exhausted them from my personal brain.
Riese:
Yeah. That is certainly all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, I right away considered you because of this topic.
Christina:
That’s true.
Drew:
Because first of all, certainly, queer ladies and non-binary people in lesbian neighborhood were like, I don’t know, having sex with individuals exactly who people they know have experienced gender with since long before
The L Word
had been ever a sequence. But i really do feel like
The L Keyword
solidified a particular cultural thought of the data with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you might have a lot of understanding of this topic.
Riese:
It is true. A couple of people, i do want to say, of
The L Keyword
had this genuine chart of them and their friends these were drawing in the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was actually one. She spoke to united states about this, that they had created this. Because demonstrably, everybody else because creator’s space had fucked other individuals within the writer â you understand, and the prolonged web of these generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also watched can these were like, “let us put it for the program.” Plus some ones are on the data. Like, some of the people exactly who ⦠like, actual people are in the data as a joke.
Christina:
That’s wonderful. Which is the way you know you’ve made it.
Riese:
Is not that precious?
Christina:
That would be thrilling for me.
Riese:
And when you yourself haven’t observed
The L Word,
to begin with, congrats. Secondly, it will become the centerpiece of a single of one’s lead figure, Alice’s, apartment. She has almost everything over her wall surface. And it also is the name of web site which they started called ourchart.com that flopped. Plus the idea ⦠and it is from inside the pilot, i do believe. When you look at the initial episode, Alice begins making reference to exactly how every person’s linked, because every person’s connected using this individual. And that I can connect you, as you’re most likely at the most two levels away from myself. And therefore had been true. Like, even with Dana, that has limited experience because she was a closeted playing tennis user, they nevertheless could hook up their. That is certainly real life because it’s correct.
Christina:
Which is culture. Yeah. That’s what tradition looks like.
Riese:
Which is culture. That is queer tradition right there. Now everybody else tends to make their very own charts.
Christina:
Yeah. To make certain that was going to end up being my personal subsequent concern, ended up being have actually either of you made a chart? Because Really don’t think I have, and I am type of today considering like, what was this just last year resting inside my residence for basically don’t make a chart? Like, that which was the point of that, actually?
Riese:
In my opinion I’ve accomplished it in my diary, in the same way like ⦠Because I like, I’m not sure, organizing information, I guess, as a thought workout.
Learn the facts here now gay senior dating app
Christina:
Yeah, i do believe which is in addition exactly why Im astonished that You will findn’t completed it. I love the idea of categorizing circumstances.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I’m not sure why it really is very interesting, but it’s. It’s interesting to-be similar, wow, most of these people, they may be connected. Its crazy.
Drew:
Throughout the show, once ourchart.com is devised, they usually have a real information that individuals could add things. And I feel just like something you joked when it comes to on
To L and Back,
and today folks state on a regular basis is like, if this existed in a proper means, no one would place their names onto it, not one person would feel comfortable putting their particular labels about it.
Riese:
You might.
Drew:
I’d. I’d end up being extremely good with-it current. I’d never ever add another person without their unique authorization. But the concept of similar, everytime some one was actually like, “concur that you happen to be connected to myself,” I would resemble, “Yeah, oahu is the existence I lived. I don’t mind.” Would be that odd? Usually problematic?
Christina:
No, because if I happened to ben’t, i’d feel terrible not ⦠i might wind up as, “hold off, I am not onto it? Like, i am sorry, what?” No, that could really deliver myself into lighting ethical stress about which i’m as a person, everything I’m carrying out. Are I interesting? Carry out people {like